.

i'm done. give up. I've spend so much effort saving something's that's not mine but yours, if you're not cherishing it, no matter how hard I try to save, it won't make a difference. . . .

-

used to it. haha.

been long.

been long. iamjayson.blogspot is no longer taken up by that mp3 thing.
but iamjayson.blogspot is also no longer available for use as a url. no idea why.

anyway. should i ask? i guess not, even if i'm out of concern, i'll get attitude anyways.

time to take a break. time to sleep.
done with all.




on a side note.

i've been shitting blood. stool with lotsa blood. sometimes it seems like little clots.
hair have been falling too.
symptoms of some cancer.
come to think of it. i achieve nothing in life. i spend my time on passion and doting someone who's not even related to me. and not being appreciated.
lets say if its really cancer. um. not like losing me is a big issue.

ha. night.

although...

now comes another person i like.
but you're still as important.
both of you matter. you're my sis and forever will be. until the day you wish you never met me.
well she... she's someone i like. and i'm having a hard time.

i hope we get to meet some day. when you no longer get irritated by me.

back....

to this renamed blog of mine.
where no one knows.

i'm facing this alone.

no twits. no tumblr. no nothing.

where were your company when i need it...

i don't even dare talk to you anymore.

i don't even dare text you.

i don't know when you'll happy to talk.

balling wasn't for fun.
its to help me run away from reality.
and jogging/running too. its literally helps me run away from reality.

¨

all the things i did.

...

no matter how upset I am.

no matter how much you've hurt me.

no matter what happened.

at the end of the day when I go to bed, I'll still leave my phone by my side, because of you.